Jan 23, 2017

This is a first for me. I’ve been writing poetry lately, but I have only once ever publicly shared a poem, and that was many years ago. But I wrote one today and decided to share. It’s not great, but it’ll do the trick.

**********

I speak up a lot

I know it’s wrong

I know I cause my own trouble

I torment myself with honesty

When I open up

I am too exposed

 
It’s painful

Being open

Nerve endings are exposed to the air

My stitches keep falling out

Because I keep scratching

Wounding myself

 
I’m bleeding everywhere on purpose

No one wants to clean it up

Everyone wants to applaud

Or look away

Confessional writer?

More like self-mutilating performance artist

 
But when I stay closed

I am enveloped in darkness

I am deafened by illness

When I am silent

It is loud

 
When I stay closed

I don’t metaphorically bleed

I just bleed

Or think of bleeding

Unbidden

 
When I stay closed

Toxins fester inside

Eating away my health

Until I cannot tell the difference

Between me and wrong

I want to rot

I want to bleed

But I don’t

I talk instead

Too much

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