Almost had a major flub last night. I didn’t have any syringes for Ada’s bedtime medication, and the pharmacy was only open 30 minutes more once I noticed. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I ran downstairs and told my husband one of us had to go to the pharmacy immediately. I was so worried that we wouldn’t make it in time. But my husband made it with barely minutes to spare.
I am still adjusting to the fullness of this. There is so much to remember, so much to learn. I feel foolish for forgetting that we had run out of syringes. I thought we would be fine until tomorrow because we have an alternative way to inject her daytime medicine, but I forgot I need syringes for bedtime. I feel like I almost messed up big time. There is just so much to consider. Before, I just had to force myself to take 2 pills at bedtime; now, it never ends. I am doing something health related every 3 hours unless we’re asleep. Add on all the time I spend in the car driving back and forth from home to the school (3-4 times daily), and I hardly have time to do anything other than take care of Ada’s health needs and rest enough to keep my own health in check. I know this won’t be forever. The school nurse will eventually take some of the work over during the day, and then Ada will be doing some of it on her own later.
I need to get a load of dishes done today, but chose to have a cup of tea with a friend instead. I felt like I hadn’t talked to anyone in ages. My husband and I spend so much time talking about our daughter, and I often crash between dinner and bedtime snack ruling out evening time. I’m just trying to keep from going crazy without the (large) amount of rest I need to function. We haven’t had even an at-home date night since diagnosis. We used to have them twice a week. I know it’s only been 2.5 weeks, but that is 5 dates we’ve missed in a row. I would up my coffee intake, but it makes my hands too shaky for Ada’s injections. We’ve got to figure something out; I’ve got to get more energy somehow so that I can do housework and make time for my husband.
Tea with my friend was great, though, even if it was only 30 minutes because that’s all the time I had. We just talked about stuff for a bit and I felt far more sane just being with someone else. I texted her on short notice and she told me to come on over. I am so blessed to have a friend near by who can make time for me whenever. Now I just need to figure out how to get date night and Wednesday night bible study back into my routine. I miss people!
So, although I almost messed up big time last night, I have taken my husband’s advice to be gentle with myself. The house will get done; I can do a load of dishes when I get home. Date night will come back when we figure out our new time schedule. I will get back to my friends when I figure out how to travel with Ada, a meal, and supplies. It won’t be like this forever, but even if it was, I would still do it. My kid is worth it.